


He'll Never Be You

by Janamelie



Category: Red Dwarf (UK TV)
Genre: Episode: s05e06 Back To Reality, Essay, M/M, Meta, discussion of incest, fic rec, mentions of torture, not graphic in either case
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:55:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29636343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janamelie/pseuds/Janamelie
Summary: This is an essay length fic rec for "The Depths Of Despair" by Felineranger, written for the RDFicRecEssays fest.Please read the tags.
Relationships: Dave Lister/Arnold Rimmer, Sebastian Doyle/William "Billy" Doyle
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7
Collections: Red Dwarf Fic Rec Essays





	He'll Never Be You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [felineranger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/felineranger/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Depths Of Despair](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17727215) by [felineranger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/felineranger/pseuds/felineranger). 



> In order to fully discuss what I enjoy about this fic, there will obviously be some spoilers within, but I've tried to reveal just enough plot information to whet the appetite of those who may not have read it.

In this fic, Holly doesn’t succeed in breaking through to the crew at the same stage of the Despair Squid hallucination as in the TV episode “Back To Reality”. Instead, they’re captured by the fascist cops. Lister is recognised as an impostor and taken to the real Voter Colonel who is every bit as frightening as the Cop’s reaction to seeing Lister would lead you to expect, especially given that the Cop is pretty scary himself.

I’ve chosen this fic as I find it beautifully written and fascinating regarding the dark tone of Series V and the particularly strong undercurrent of UST between Lister and Rimmer. Although it’s based on the Series V finale, the influence of the preceding episode “Demons And Angels” is also subtly evident in a way I’ll come to later. There is also a callback to Series VI’s “Gunmen Of The Apocalypse” and Lister’s use of the AR machine to satisfy his libido, which ties into the overall theme of desperately sublimated desire.

So yes, it’s obvious to anyone who’s seen the episode that this is still the hallucination, but just as in the actual episode, the danger is no less real for that. The reader still flinches at what Lister is put through and doesn’t know how or whether he’ll manage to free himself.

Sebastian is beautifully described here. He may look like Lister but there is absolutely nothing of Lister about him. Not just the glaringly obvious fact of being a mass murderer with no qualms about torturing people, also such as this:  _ “His movements were precise and efficient, and the body beneath those beautifully tailored clothes was obviously fit, firm, and toned. The voter-colonel clearly kept himself in good shape. Along with the perfectly styled hair, the image he projected was of a steely perfectionism that Lister found both alien and unnerving.” _

Ever wondered what the in-universe explanation might have been - had it not turned out to be a hallucination - for the Voter Colonel having vanished from public view for four years? The ingenious reason given here is that Lister and Rimmer are clones of Sebastian and Billy respectively, created to facilitate an attempted coup. Doyle and his half-brother have been hiding in a military bunker all that time and Sebastian in particular is out for blood. And information, which he ruthlessly proceeds to torture Lister for.

A word on the torture here for those who may be put off by that. It’s not particularly graphic or bloody and mostly involves a taser. I very rarely read fics tagged with it but it feels absolutely right for this particular story. Basically, if you chose to read this essay despite its tags, it probably won’t be a dealbreaker for you.

Whilst we’re on taboo subjects, the incestuous desire between Sebastian and Billy is absolutely key to the plot of this fic. Sebastian is in denial, Billy is shamelessly not so:  _ “The very tip of Billy’s nose brushed the soft tresses at the base of Sebastian’s neck. His lips were barely a millimetre from his skin. “He’ll. Never. Be.  _ **_You_ ** _.” For a second, just a second, Lister saw Sebastian’s eyes drift closed, saw him draw a breath. Suddenly his arm snapped back violently, driving his elbow into Billy’s stomach. “Knock it off. Get the hell away from me. You’re disgusting.” _

This moment is called back to later in the context of Lister and Rimmer’s relationship, along with Billy begging his brother to let him watch him torture Lister:  _ “If I can’t touch you, then let me watch you beg. Let me hear you scream.” _

This has a lot more meaning when you recall that Rimmer is still a soft-light hologram at this stage of the show and Lister has very recently encountered Low Rimmer, who was just as blatant about his desire to sexually torture Lister. Lister’s extended hallucination can easily be read as his brain attempting to make sense of this.

Sebastian’s underlying reciprocation of Billy’s desire for him echoes that of Lister for Rimmer. Usually in the canon episode, shippers interpret the “revelation” that they’re half-brothers as the reason Rimmer becomes suicidal, but here it’s Lister struggling with the Despair Squid ink doing its level best to make him kill himself. 

Interestingly, the version of Billy we meet here - although just as dangerous to Lister as Sebastian in a different way - is a cleaned up version with more of a physical resemblance to Rimmer:  _ “Surprisingly, like Sebastian, he also appeared to be in excellent physical shape. His hair was cut short and his clothes were neat. He showed no outward sign of being the human wreck that the artefacts at the arcade had suggested.” _

This is explained in a way which I won’t spoil but which further underlines the simmering sexual tension between Sebastian and Billy and Sebastian’s refusal to acknowledge that it’s not one-sided on Billy’s part.

Sebastian is not only ashamed of his desire for Billy but petrified that it might become public knowledge and ruin his reputation. Billy’s drunken partying with the attempted coup leaders was the original impetus for the creation of the clones who were intended to replace Sebastian and Billy. When Lister twigs that Billy hasn’t told his brother the full truth of what happened between him and Sebastian’s clone, he senses his opportunity to at least goad Sebastian into killing him quickly.

Which leads into the other major reason I love this fic - the way Lister fights back. Having been traumatised by the “revelation” that nothing he thought he knew is true, cruelly tortured by his own sadistic mirror image and threatened with being kept as a slave and used for body parts, he still manages to summon the brainpower to recognise the ruthless Voter Colonel’s Achilles heel and manipulate it.

But satisfying though it is to see Lister taunt the mighty Voter Colonel and make him lose his cool, we know on a subconscious level that Lister is still hallucinating and still in danger of dying. Will Holly get to utter her famous lines: “I thought you weren’t going to make it. Welcome back to reality”? Will Lister confess to Rimmer? Read the fic to find out.


End file.
